Marriage - Transparency of Matters with Spouse
  • Question:

    I got married more than five years ago; Allah has blessed us kids however I would like to know if there is reservation as to what to tell my wife (should I hide my permissible affairs from her). I have tried all I could to make her understand some issues but to my dismay she negatively responded at all the time. It has alot of negative consequences on the marriage. Save my marriage by explaining what is permissible in Islam not to let your wife have any knowledge about it in the interest of peaceful co-existence. I love her but she always doubts (lack of absolute trust) all my intention towards her. I am confused with the whole affairs, as she is making to have second thought on this Sunnah of our noble prophet PBUH. May Allah bless us all.

    Assalamu Alaikum wa rahmatullahi wa Barakatuh

    Thank you for your question.

    Marriage is a serious commitment. There are many rights and responsibilities in marriage.

    Islamically, it is permissible for a you as a man to marry a second wife. However, there are a number of issues to be dealt with that must be taken into consideration:

    1. Is it legally permitted to engage in polygamy in your country?
    2. Is the first wife aware of this proposed marriage or is this a secret marriage? There is no concept of a secret marriage in Islam.
    3. Is the husband able to fulfill all related rights and responsibilities regarding the second marriage such as spending equal time and parenting children? and providing all wives with shelter, food, clothing and basic necessities?

    Even though a Muslim man has the full islamic right to go ahead and get married again, we suggest you sit down with the elders of the families and or some respectable imams to discuss the matter. The advice and pertinent counsel that is presented in such meetings will enable both you and your present wife to understand some perspectives both of you may not be aware of. If this does not occur, or you marry without considering the above issues, it will result in many complications and difficulties with your current wife and family.

    We pray that Allāh bless you and your future.

    And Allah knows best.

    Answered by Shaykh Yusuf Badat
    Hadith of the Day Imam
    Imam of the Islamic Foundation of Toronto and Director of Mathabah Institute
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